michellemcgriff.com

5 am and other redundancies

Fri, 11 Jun 2010 01:07:01 GMT

This morning I woke up naked. The day started really early too, and I was dazed and confused, but yep… I was naked and in Stilettos, but still all that meant was that I had to get up and start thinking way before my brain was awake. Nonetheless, as my life goes, I made it through to what… 10:51 when I started this blog. A blog about being naked in stilettos… No…wait… let me get this right. I started this blog at 9:00am but had to take a call, think about coffee (again) oh put on some clothes (can’t go to the cleaners naked in stilettos) sorted the cleaning bag—umm, NO, you’re not sending THAT to the cleaners—went to the cleaners, thought about going into *BLEECH Albertsons. Here is the skinny on Albertsons: Me and Albertsons have not been getting along now for weeks. I’m not sure why but I think it had something to do with their absence of mustard greens when I needed them. Okay so I gave them another shot and guess what… no Portabellas… Yes I’m ultra forgiving and tried them YET one mo gin and guess what… they charged me 4 bucks for pickled ginger when my regular store only charges me 2.50. So yeah, me and Albertson’s are on the outs right now… for sure. Annnnyway, so I didn’t go in there because I’m trying to not spend any more money after my $21.29 dollar shopping spree yesterday at Goodwill. But I found the perfect dress. Okay so it’s not perfect perfect because it’s white but it’s like perfect okay. I wonder if I can dye it… no worries. I’ll wear it white if I have to. It’s gonna be under all that regalia. Ahhh graduation, I can almost smell it. I was starting to freak out and panic this week, as the words Oral Defense actually crossed my ears with a bite of reality behind it. I’m a PhD student. What does that meaaaaan! Okay, for me, I’m hoping it means that I can actually finally get recognition for something I’ve been doing for over 35 years, workin. You know how it is, you work and work doing the same thing but people act like you still need to ‘apply’ to do it, and be weighed on whether or not you know how to do it… come on! With each baby you aren’t asked if you know how to give birth. You do it once or twice and there ya go… you’re an expert. But no, I have to get this degree that says, YES I know how to do what I’ve been doing for a really long friggin’ time… oh OH! Don’t get me started, I’m getting tense again. I reached for Pie and none was there, I reached for chocolate and heyyyy none was there… what’s up with this healthy house stuff. I’m about to freak out and all I could find was a bunch of healthy stuff. Okay so here is another weird thing… I always get support commuting home on the weekends. Why this weekend, since I’ve decided to go by train and I’m worried that I won’t get support. I’m so whacked out and stressed! Just book the daggone ticket, Michelle! You waited too bloody long already and missed out on your student discount! UGH… sooo dumb acting sometimes. Okay so now the Amtrak page is open and I still have not booked my ticket. I’m realizing this is a lot to do before noon. Holy Crow, it not even noon and I’m exhausted. I’ve not even played a healthy round or 40 of bejeweled, but no matter, I’ve tweeted until I’m blue in the face, had a nice ‘tense’ banter with a reviewer, pondered my next bestselling novel (to be written on the train BTW—yes I booked my doggone ticket) thought about what I’m cooking for dinner and other fantastic things I can do either naked or in stilettos. ©2010 michelle mcgriff

more beautiful

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 09:23:57 GMT

More beautiful

I wish I was more beautiful

For then would be able to capture every heart

Steal every smile

Snatch every word because I knew it would be dedicated to me

I wish I was more beautiful

Because then I would never wonder if you wanted me

If you desired me

Craved me, without restraint or regard to what the future would be

I wish I was more beautiful

Then I would be measured against the wonders of the world

I’d be more than just a girl

I wouldn’t have to even speak, you see

If I were more beautiful

I wouldn’t have to feel or care

I wouldn’t have to do or have

I wouldn’t have to love anyone but myself

All I have is my pen

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 09:11:30 GMT

All I have is a pen…

All I could do was form prose with my mind to gain peace in my heart

In order to accept the hours minutes days that we are apart

I run to the internet hoping that I can get

Just a crumb of attention from you

But there is nothing there and I’m left with despair… and then

And all I have left is a pen

To hell with all the protocol

All I want is for you to call

With just a minute of your time for me

And then all I can do is form prose with my mind to gain peace in my heart

In order to accept the hours, minutes, days that we are apart

I drop to my knees to pray for that one day

You will come home

And then all I can do is form prose with my mind to gain peace in my heart

In order to accept the hours, minutes, days that we are apart

Because all I have to cling to is my pen

©Michelle McGriff 2009

In my perfection

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 09:11:30 GMT

In my perfection

When you first touched me,

Time stood still

All plans were nil

Only your eyes I could see

You set my heart free

We laughed, we loved, from morn til eve

All night the bliss

The only taste was your kiss

Why did you, my heart deceive?

Or maybe I just wanted so badly to believe

I thought, while all your letters were burning

That I was the fool

You were so cool

Thought I’d never stop yearning

That the world would stop turning

Dramatic outcries breaking into my peace

Aches in my bones

A never ending Jones

But this must cease

For you are a mere crease

Not the end all be all

Just a mere crease

In my perfection

To the Back of my Mind....

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 09:11:30 GMT

mecheeswritinglife.blogspot.com/2010/02/to-back-of-my-mind.html

Absense of Baggage

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 08:55:22 GMT

mecheeswritinglife.blogspot.com/2010/02/absense-of-baggage.html

A bum by any other name... Please!

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 08:55:22 GMT

mecheeswritinglife.blogspot.com/2010/02/bum-by-any-other-name-please.html

Just a little insight

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 01:35:27 GMT

Men need to realize that no matter how long a woman has been alone, saying, “OH she's been alone for 6, 10, 3 years etc....so she’s okay waiting for X amount of time longer for me…” is a mistake.

Her being alone has been her OWN business. There has been a reason she’s been alone, one that has nothing to do with you.

If she’s finally healed enough to be with you that means she’s ready to open up again—that she’s healed and ready to move on in life.

This ALONE period was not some PRACTICE for more alone time.

Men, you need to QUIT thinking that dragging her heart out to the limit is OKAY.

And women, just because you've been alone and sure, you can handle being alone a little longer –maybe—with assurance that there is a reason too—but women, just being alone to be alone … being alone just to WAIT for what… to be alone even longer… NO--what kind of sense does that make if you have finally accepted that you don't want to be alone!?

Men PLEASE when a woman who has been alone gets tired of being ALONE…when the light comes on… if she’s who you want, or who you even THINK you want… you besta be THERE with her--in some way or at least let her know it... beyond just empty BS words or wilted flowers or some SECOND choice actions...

GET THERE for real ....or get left.

When the light inside a woman comes on, there is a glow that other men see (you know that)... and soon one will come along with all you offer and more... and the more will be... THEMSELVES.... they will BE THERE.. in more than just words and WEAK promises and or offers of sex or some other weak and limted temporary 'present' or condescending jesture on your part!!!

We are not PITY PARTIES...

AND SOON, a man WILL BE THERE TO DELIVER the love and the touch and the... ugh the internal fullfillment we need.

REVIEWS

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 11:03:17 GMT

Please post your reviews for my books here!

50 Cents

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:48:28 GMT

Today I spent 50 cents on Starbucks coffee. I have to say it was the happiest 50 cents I’ve spent in a long. Sure, I’ve spent 50 cents on a day old donut that made me kinda giddy, but this 50 cents bought me some, from fresh out the pot (and not secret pot from a back room area where they duck into when a homeless person comes in for hand outs) I’m talking right up front, honest to goodness—Starbucks.

The barista called it out loudly, “You want a refill? That’ll be 50 cents.” I was like… dang! Wow! Really? 50 cents?

I pulled out my last 10 bucks and gladly broke it, getting 9.50 back in change. As I poured my pink stuff in carefully—wouldn’t want to ruin the flavor, making it too sweet or whatever—I pondered what I would do with my 9.50…considering I thought I’d only be getting back like 8.50. A whole extra dollar! Man! Wow! Dang!

Lunch came to mind. Yesterday I spent a buck extra on some really good rice. Normally I get just the plain white rice but the little sidewalk food vendor had this yellow rice that had like eggs in it or some cheese looking stuff…you never know with those vendors but it was good. I had onions on the top and well…I eat my onions at work. Nobody has that much business in my face to where my breath should be an issue… okay. So anyway,

I got it for 3 bucks instead of 2 and thought, okay now I only have 10 bucks left. I didn’t get my afternoon coffee 1 buck refill from the little store downstairs because it was I didn’t want to break my 10 bucks. You know, with it being my last and all. Besides, in the afternoon that 1 buck coffee is well… it leaves a lot of want in the flavor department.

In the mornings it’s pretty good and I do take my own cup in order to get it for a buck but that’s only when I’m running late and I don’t have my own coffee from home… which lately has been lousy anyway but I think that’s because I cut back on my Folgers and got the store brand. It’s harsh tasting and well you know Folgers is mountain grown…the richest kind. But I was broke and had only 10 bucks and well Folgers can be rather spendy so I went for the store brand, it cost way less and well… I can taste the less.

Anyway, so I sometimes in the afternoon get the 1 buck refills considering they don’t taste any worse than my own coffee from home, right? But today for 50 cents I got Starbucks and man is it ever good. It was good enough to blog about…so you know that means it was doggone good and well worth my 50 cents. Between me and you, I’da paid a buck because there’s still a lot I can do with 9 dollars in change.

Even though I must admit, I’m digging that extra 50 cents.