This morning I woke up naked. The day started really early too, and I was dazed and confused, but yep… I was naked and in Stilettos, but still all that meant was that I had to get up and start thinking way before my brain was awake. Nonetheless, as my life goes, I made it through to what… 10:51 when I started this blog. A blog about being naked in stilettos… No…wait… let me get this right. I started this blog at 9:00am but had to take a call, think about coffee (again) oh put on some clothes (can’t go to the cleaners naked in stilettos) sorted the cleaning bag—umm, NO, you’re not sending THAT to the cleaners—went to the cleaners, thought about going into *BLEECH Albertsons. Here is the skinny on Albertsons: Me and Albertsons have not been getting along now for weeks. I’m not sure why but I think it had something to do with their absence of mustard greens when I needed them. Okay so I gave them another shot and guess what… no Portabellas… Yes I’m ultra forgiving and tried them YET one mo gin and guess what… they charged me 4 bucks for pickled ginger when my regular store only charges me 2.50. So yeah, me and Albertson’s are on the outs right now… for sure. Annnnyway, so I didn’t go in there because I’m trying to not spend any more money after my $21.29 dollar shopping spree yesterday at Goodwill. But I found the perfect dress. Okay so it’s not perfect perfect because it’s white but it’s like perfect okay. I wonder if I can dye it… no worries. I’ll wear it white if I have to. It’s gonna be under all that regalia. Ahhh graduation, I can almost smell it. I was starting to freak out and panic this week, as the words Oral Defense actually crossed my ears with a bite of reality behind it. I’m a PhD student. What does that meaaaaan! Okay, for me, I’m hoping it means that I can actually finally get recognition for something I’ve been doing for over 35 years, workin. You know how it is, you work and work doing the same thing but people act like you still need to ‘apply’ to do it, and be weighed on whether or not you know how to do it… come on! With each baby you aren’t asked if you know how to give birth. You do it once or twice and there ya go… you’re an expert. But no, I have to get this degree that says, YES I know how to do what I’ve been doing for a really long friggin’ time… oh OH! Don’t get me started, I’m getting tense again. I reached for Pie and none was there, I reached for chocolate and heyyyy none was there… what’s up with this healthy house stuff. I’m about to freak out and all I could find was a bunch of healthy stuff. Okay so here is another weird thing… I always get support commuting home on the weekends. Why this weekend, since I’ve decided to go by train and I’m worried that I won’t get support. I’m so whacked out and stressed! Just book the daggone ticket, Michelle! You waited too bloody long already and missed out on your student discount! UGH… sooo dumb acting sometimes. Okay so now the Amtrak page is open and I still have not booked my ticket. I’m realizing this is a lot to do before noon. Holy Crow, it not even noon and I’m exhausted. I’ve not even played a healthy round or 40 of bejeweled, but no matter, I’ve tweeted until I’m blue in the face, had a nice ‘tense’ banter with a reviewer, pondered my next bestselling novel (to be written on the train BTW—yes I booked my doggone ticket) thought about what I’m cooking for dinner and other fantastic things I can do either naked or in stilettos. ©2010 michelle mcgriff

More beautiful

I wish I was more beautiful

For then would be able to capture every heart

Steal every smile

Snatch every word because I knew it would be dedicated to me

I wish I was more beautiful

Because then I would never wonder if you wanted me

If you desired me

Craved me, without restraint or regard to what the future would be

I wish I was more beautiful

Then I would be measured against the wonders of the world

I’d be more than just a girl

I wouldn’t have to even speak, you see

If I were more beautiful

I wouldn’t have to feel or care

I wouldn’t have to do or have

I wouldn’t have to love anyone but myself

All I have is a pen…

All I could do was form prose with my mind to gain peace in my heart

In order to accept the hours minutes days that we are apart

I run to the internet hoping that I can get

Just a crumb of attention from you

But there is nothing there and I’m left with despair… and then

And all I have left is a pen

To hell with all the protocol

All I want is for you to call

With just a minute of your time for me

And then all I can do is form prose with my mind to gain peace in my heart

In order to accept the hours, minutes, days that we are apart

I drop to my knees to pray for that one day

You will come home

And then all I can do is form prose with my mind to gain peace in my heart

In order to accept the hours, minutes, days that we are apart

Because all I have to cling to is my pen

 

©Michelle McGriff 2009

In my perfection

When you first touched me,

Time stood still

All plans were nil

Only your eyes I could see

You set my heart free

We laughed, we loved, from morn til eve

All night the bliss

The only taste was your kiss

Why did you, my heart deceive?

Or maybe I just wanted so badly to believe

I thought, while all your letters were burning

That I was the fool

You were so cool

Thought I’d never stop yearning

That the world would stop turning

Dramatic outcries breaking into my peace

Aches in my bones

A never ending Jones

But this must cease

For you are a mere crease

Not the end all be all

Just a mere crease

In my perfection

© Michelle McGriff 2009

mecheeswritinglife.blogspot.com/2010/02/to-back-of-my-mind.html